Reminder: 1
Jun 29th, 2008 by Sally
I have reproduced, here, a comment to Arun’s post on dealing with sibling fighting, as a reminder to myself to work on what I worked out whilst reading his post about careful intervention and no-blame conflict resolution at The Parenting Pit.
I know what you are saying is so true, and it really works. I found it incredibly useful as a teacher, but find it hard to stick to with my own children. It doesn’t seem to be culturally natural for me and when I’m stretched out, it is particularly difficult to be compassionate rather than irritated. However, my irritation usually relates to my sense of responsibility regarding having to ’sort out’ something I have little control over (after all, I’m in someone else’s business). If I could get, once and for all, beyond feeling responsible for sorting their relationship and fights … then maybe I could avoid blame and unhelpful interventions!
Another part of it for me is an irrationally aggressive gut reaction to seeing spiteful aggression! I am so down on ’spite’ and resentment. I’m outlawing feelings … and that makes no sense at all! I wonder why it is that spite/resentment/grudge holding press so many emotive buttons for me? Ironically, my reaction to spite, resentment and grudge holding subtly (or blatantly!) takes the form of … yes, you guessed it … spite, resentment and grudge holding! Maybe I need to learn to accept these feelings, and be more compassionate to myself and my children when they appear. After all, it doesn’t feel nice to feel those things … so compassion is surely due. Let the bad feeling out and the good floods in. Deny the bad feelings and they just seem to grow in the dark.
Your header is so cute!
I got you all linked up for Fun Monday.
EWWWWW, turnips!!! Be afraid, be very afraid! They are not allowed in my house, either! UGH!
I agree with Lisa, your header is adorable! What cuties!
Have a great week
Turnips? Really? And the sock thing would drive me crazy! You obviously are NOT OCD!
your family and mine should go walking together. Who know where we’ll end up, with noses to the ground, “looking for clues,” as my son says. Nose to the ground like the terrier brady bunch.
Well that’s one intimidating turnip. If you know where it is, it’s a good place to put it.
Hi Jeanna, good theory. I used to use this theory with my ex-husband … but there was only one of him. There are so many turnips and they keep reproducing! Intimidating turnip sounds like a good description for him too … but that’s all in the past and he was forgiven long ago. LOL!
Heh Lisa and Swampangel … I’ll trust any one who thinks my kids are cute! If you hate turnips too, well, you have to be very credible too!
Hi Tracy,
maybe it is my fight against OCD tendencies! Wrinkly sheets, socks that feel different, lots of things bother me, Princess and the Pea that I am!
However, when I see some kind of obsession creeping in, one of my other ones (the one that requires me to rebel against obsessions or anything that threatens to rule me) kicks in! LOL!